Donut Job?

Beloved colleagues,

I’ve just revised my job application cover letter for an assistant professor job I’m applying for at the University of the Northwest. Can you take a look at it and offer suggestions?

Dear Search Committee,

I’m writing to apply for your recently advertised position in Molecular Genetics. Please, please, please give me a job. I’m desperate. My wife said she’d leave me if I don’t get a real job soon. How about this: if you hire me, I’ll start a Wednesday Donuts in your department? Mmm, donuts.

Yours Sincerely and Professionally,

Mattias Johansson

Wednesday Donuts, LAP S185, 10am

-MLJ

PS->Donuts this week courtesy of our mysterious friend, Ben Franklin. As great as he/she is, I’m thinking Ben Franklin should be president. Of Earth. I’m starting the campaign now, so if you want to volunteer, let me know. As Obama showed us, it’s all about your ground game.