Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Health Benefits of Donuts

My friend Kasey was sick yesterday. No one likes to be sick, but I thought, “it’s a shame it didn’t happen on Donut Wednesday, since donuts have so many well-known health benefits.”
For example, did you know that the sugar in donuts has antibacterial properties? It’s the same thing as in jam. Donuts don’t rot, they go stale. Then they rise up and smite your enemies.
The complex carbohydrates in donuts give you the energy you need to do quality science, mentor the heck out of your students, or fix the carburetor in your ’74 Ducati 900SS.
The little bit of fat in a donut helps to lubricate the gears in your brain so that you can think better, and also makes you more beautiful. Nobody likes those dry, skinny models in magazines, anyway.

Come to donuts (10am, LAP S185). It’ll do you good.
-MLJ

PS->Donuts this week courtesy of Elizabeth Muslin. Elizabeth once set up a lab so well, a philosophy student walking by changed his major. Instantly. With ESP.
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