Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Camilo and the Cameleopards Great Donut Hits

In 1990, Camilo and the Cameleopards entered the charts at #205 with their song “Land of 1000 Donuts” off the album We Like Donuts. Although this was their only sniff at success, they recently re-released the album as a greatest hits compilation, Donut Hits.

Here’s the playlist from the album, now available from Rev J Records.

1. Land of 1000 Donuts
2. Donut in the USA
3. Never Trust a Donut
4. The Beautiful Donut
5. I’d Rather Be a Donut
6. That’s Not My Donut
7. Donut Cabana
8. Donut Strike
9. Donuts Don’t Lie
10. Let Me Put My Donut Into You

Meet the lead singer, Camilo Vanegas, this morning at donuts: 10:00 in the Donut Lounge. And buy a copy of the album wherever albums are sold…


Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Flight of the Donchords: Season 1: Disc 1

Newport science parody duo Mattias Johansson and Sean Matson play fictionalized versions of themselves in this HMSC comedy series that follows two somewhat dim-witted pals trying to make it big in the donut industry. They must deal with their inept manager, Andres (Camilo Vanegas), who buys an Easy-Bake as their first oven; their only customer, Lee (Mara Spencer), whose donut obsession verges on unhealthy; and their own childish natures. This disc includes the following episodes: "Easy-Bake", "Sean Gives Up the Dream", "Robbed", "Linda", "New Customers", and "Tim Horton".
Rated TV-MA 3 hrs. 2009
Come meet the stars (the donuts) this morning at 10:00 in the staff lounge. Sean and Mattias will be there too.

What your donut preferences say about you.

Bismarck (Cream Filled) – People who prefer the Bismarck are athletic and enthusiastic. They want a donut that gives them the complete experience in one: chocolate, pastry, and custard. Famous Bismarck lovers include David Beckham, Serena Williams, and Secretariat.

Cherry “Blossom” – People who like the cherry “blossom” are individualists. Although they tend to be loners, these people are intensely loyal to their friends and family. However, they are not easily swayed by other people’s opinions or by peer pressure, hence their taste in unusual donuts. Famous Cherry “Blossom” lovers include David Bowie, Charleton Heston, and Margaret Thatcher.

Cinnamon Twist – People who like the cinnamon twist like simplicity and tradition. These people tend to be intelligent and approachable, but may lean toward nerdliness. Famous cinnamon twist lovers include Barack Obama, Rivers Cuomo, and Janeane Garofalo.

Come explore your personality with a donut this morning at 10:00 in the Donut Lounge.


Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Colombian Donut Folk Wisdom (w/ Folk Wisdom Expert Camilo Vanegas)

Mejor sera una dona fea y sabrosa que una mujer bonita y mejor.
Better an ugly and sweet donut than a beautiful and bitter woman.

Todo el tiempo comiendo vegetales es tiempo perdio comiendo donas.
All time spent eating vegetables is time lost to eating donuts.

Amor de donas equilibra los ricos y los pobres.
Love of donuts levels rich and poor.

De le una dona a un hombre y comeria por un dia, enseƱale horneal y las donas le hase gordo.
Give a man a donut and he will eat for a day, teach him to bake and donuts will make him fat.

Come have a donut and gain some valuable folk wisdom tomorrow at 10:00 in the donut lounge.


Donut Proverb

As I walk through the valley of the shadow of Wednesday
I shall fear no evil.
For I have my friends,
And a donut that protects me from low blood sugar
Join me and the HsO in battling the evils of Wednesday with a powerful donut. Staff Lounge, 10:00.

Donut Slayer

As they approached within a half mile of the cave, the desolation became acute. Not a green thing grew, and nothing moved. Another sure sign of the monster, the rocks were oily and slippery. The difficulty of dealing with such an infestation was certainly not in the tracking; any blind man with a nose for pastry could have found this blighted grease spot as easily as the slayer and his companion had.

Now, as they stood near the entrance of the monster’s lair, they considered the real challenge that faced them. The slayer rested his hand lightly on the handle of his weapon. Like a large bread knife, it had a serrated edge that would easily cut through the flesh of the beast. The ancient, hardened frosting presented a greater challenge. This protective armor would have to be dealt with by other means. The slayer’s companion, a gnomish inventor, had the answer. His invention, an insulated beer keg with shoulder straps and an extended pump handle, would spray scalding hot espresso over 25 feet. This should be enough to weaken the frosting and let the slayer do his work.

They approached the mouth of the cave. Fighting within would be suicide, so the slayer cried out a challenge:

“Foul donut, I, Mattias of Toledo, have come to destroy you. I have slain many of your kind, and now I have come to slay you. Your reign of terror is at an end!”

At this, there was a stirring within the cave, and a plume of greasy steam wafted from the entrance. The inhabitant growled, and then it appeared. Huge, frosted in maple, angry, it looked around for the source of the challenge.

The slayer stepped forward. “Monster, you have fattened your last maiden. My sword will taste of your pastry, and you will be destroyed.”

A target sighted, the donut roared and began a rolling charge. The slayer raised his weapon and ran toward the donut. His companion contributed a steaming spray of coffee and a gnomish battle cry. Within seconds, the distance was closed. The slayer leapt, and swung his blade down in a wide arc…

Donuts. Wednesday 10:00 in the Staff Lounge. Come slay a few with your Hatfield Friends.

East Coast Donuts

Preliminary Report on East Coast Donuts (Dunkin Donuts):

As most of you know, I was recently in Connecticut, gathering data for a comparison report on West Coast versus East Coast donuts. Here are some of my preliminary findings:

1. Patriotic donuts are quite popular. These consist of various frostings with red-white-blue sprinkles. Pretty awesome.

2. Sprinkles on east coast donuts are crunchier than those found in the west. Very nice.

3. They do not appear to have a maple bar at Dunkin. Instead, the maple donut is round. I found this kind of unnatural.

4. The fruit filling in the filled donuts at Dunkin may involve real fruit in its manufacturing. Compared to the presumably non-fruit containing gel in west coast donuts, this should be a plus. However, I found it somewhat off-putting.

5. In summary, donuts on the east coast are somewhat different from our common western varieties. In most respects, they are very good. There are some slight differences which may take some getting used to, but I believe it would be worth the effort.

West coast donuts, donut lounge 10:00.


Leaving Donuts Behind

Eugene Airport. Headed east. Every moment takes me further from you
and my beloved donuts. The ache in my heart (and stomach) is becoming
unbearable. Only the thought of joining you at donuts in a weeks time
sustains me. That, and the thought that you will be enjoying donuts
together in a few hours time. Donuts, Wednesday at 10:00.