Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Last Donut Email

We’ve had a good run. We’ve had some laughs, we’ve cried some tears, we’ve learned some very important lessons. But now it’s time to move on. The President has asked me to head up his Office of Pastry Affairs, and I don’t really feel I can refuse. Originally, I was just going to hang out in Newport and draw unemployment, but you know how it is. President Obama said he’d have Joe Biden punch me if I said no. So, this is my last donut email. I’m not sure who’ll be writing next week, but I’m sure donuts will live on. Thanks for all your support.

PS->TSUNAMI DONUTS. Be there or be square.
PPS->Donuts courtesy of Tim Lee and HMSC (Maryann Bozza).
PPPS->Mattias is great.

Rewriting Research Interests

As many of you know, I’m currently looking around for my next career opportunity. As such, I’ve been updating my CV, and Research and Teaching Interest documents. I’ve gotten a bit stuck with my research interests, though. I think it’s good, but maybe you guys can help me make it better.

Mattias L. Johansson
Research Interests
My research interests focus on the application of genetic tools to fundamental questions in marine fisheries, ecology, and donuts. Mmm, donuts.

That’s all I’ve got. Any ideas?

PS->Donuts this week courtesy of a young man, possibly some kind of intern, whose name I do not know. If I get his name later, I’ll pass it along.

Donuts, of course.

It's been twenty-three hours and six days
since you took the donuts away
I go out every night and sleep all day
since you took the donuts away
since they’ve been gone I can do whatever I want
I can eat whatever I choose
I can eat a pastry in a fancy restaurant
but nothing
I said nothing can take away these blues,

'cause nothing compares
nothing compares to donuts


PS->Donuts this week courtesy of real-life action man Chris Magel. Women want to be him, men want to be with him, and today, the donuts come courtesy of him. Thanks, Chris!

Hatfield needs a new Donut Coordinator!

I’m here by putting out the call for Hatfield’s next Donut Coordinator. My job wraps up September 30, so I will soon be pursuing new opportunities elsewhere (where that might be, who knows?). So, there’s a need for someone new to make sure Wednesday Donuts continues to function as a community event. The duties are easy, and flexible. The only thing you have to do is make sure donuts get bought every week. Ideally, you’d also write a weekly email, but I think the event would survive without that (even though the emails are popular). I started the job as a student and continued as a Postdoc, so it’s probably open to pretty much anyone. Let me know if you’re interested (potentially through the medium of the hilarious email).

PS->Donuts this week courtesy of the Heppell Lab. Thanks, Scott, Selina, and the gang! You guys are great.
PPS->My preferred job option fell through, so I’m still open to additional options. If you hear of anything cool, let me know. More choices=better.

Sometimes the donut emails write themselves...

Greek police smash violent doughnut ring
THESSALONIKI, Greece (AP) — It took an undercover operation, but Greek police have blown a hole in a ring of alleged crooks who had cornered the doughnut market in a beach resort.
It started with complaints that two Bulgarian men and a former Greek wrestling champion were using violence to choke off the trade by other doughnut vendors on Paliouri beach in the Halkidiki peninsula near Thessaloniki.
So an undercover officer posed as a doughnut seller, police said Tuesday, and he was attacked, leading to the arrest of the three aggressive doughnut sellers.
As a result, they have been charged with blackmail and fraud. They also were charged with food safety violations after police found they had stashed their product in an abandoned hotel that was open to the elements and used by bathers as a toilet.

PS->Thanks to Bill Chadwick for the link to this story, and thanks to SeaGrant for this week’s donuts! The Heppell Lab is still on deck, but feel free to pick up the wand if you haven’t bought in a while…

Donut Meeting Agenda

Agenda for Donut Meeting, 8/24/11
1. Eat Donuts
2. Drink Coffee
3. Talk about Stuff (If there’s time)
4. Adjourn Meeting


->Donuts this week courtesy of Michael Banks, with the Heppell Lab on deck for next week. If you haven’t bought in a while, think about grabbing the wand.

Donut Chamber Events

August 17, 2011
Please be reminded...
*Business After Hours
JC Market will host the August 18th Donuts After Hours. Chamber members and guests are invited to scrounge leftover donuts from the dumpster behind JC Market from 5:15 to 7pm.

*Chamber Bruncheon
The August 17th Donut Bruncheon will be held at the Hatfield Marine Science Center. Please join us for our weekly 10am Wednesday Feast.

We hope to see you at both events!


PS->Donuts this week courtesy of MLJ, unless Maryann B. wants to chip in.

Postdoctoral Position in Donuts and Evolution

Dear Donut Enthusiast,

Thank you for your application for the Postdoctoral Research Associate position in Donuts and Evolution with the Center for Baked Goods at Oregon State University.
I regret to inform you that the committee has decided not to fill the advertised position and will be reevaluating the actual needs of the research program (we spent all the money at Voodoo Donuts).
Thank you again for your time and interest in the Center for Baked Goods. On behalf of the search committee, we very much appreciate your interest in employment at Oregon State University and wish you the best of luck in your job search.



PS->Donuts this week courtesy of Itchung Cheung. Thanks, Itchung!

Nice to meet you

Nice to meet you

How are you today? I hope you are in good health , I decided to drop you few lines just to

say hello!! because i am looking for a good and lasting relationship with someone who will understands the needs for donuts and coffee, think about it and get back to me so that i can send you some pastry recipes and also tell you more about me. Thanks and may your day be a blessed as am waiting for your soonest response for further communication.
Yours Friend
Mister Mattias

PS->Donuts this week by a Mysterious Stranger.