Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Donut Fact-Finding Mission 2

I recently sent my friend and trusted donut colleague Bill Peterson on a donut fact finding mission to Japan, the land of the midnight sun (or whatever). Here are some of his findings:

Japan is a nation with a rich history, and a varied and beautiful culture. All of which has been poisoned by too much exposure to American culture. Mmm, donuts. Also, apparently they have square donuts and heart shaped donuts in New York City. Who knew?

What the hell do bananas have to do with donuts? Ah, mysterious Japan. More importantly, four donuts in a box = empty box. Anything less than a dozen is a crime against humanity.

In Japan, they have donuts on sticks. Mmm, donuts. Bill claims that he bought 3 dozen of these for this weeks Donut Wednesday, but they were seized by the TSA. Something about “Delicious, dangerous contraband.”


PS->Donuts this week courtesy of Itchung Cheung. Thanks, Itchung!

A Declaration on Donuts

We hold this truth to be self-evident, that all donuts are created to be delicious, that they are created from certain unalterable Ingredients, that among these are sugar, flour, eggs, and oil. That to secure these donuts, Wednesday donuts was instituted among Hatfielders, deriving their status from their location of work, that whenever the calendar and the clock say Wednesday at 10:00, it is the Right of the People to attend the Staff Lounge, and to attain a free donut and coffee, selecting the donut as to them would seem most likely to improve their happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Hatfielders select two donuts, in order that the maximum happiness may be most likely to be attained by the attending multitude of individuals. Finally, it is the responsibility of every Hatfielder, at regular intervals, to assume the responsibility of procuring donuts for their fellow attendees, so that the traditions, customs, and pleasures of Donut Wednesday may be continued for future generations.

PS->Donuts this week courtesy of Candace Rogers. Thanks, Candace!

Donut Reruns

For once, I’m not inspired to write a donut email. So, I’m rerunning two “classics” from the early days. Donuts this week are courtesy of Janet Webster. Thanks, Janet!

There comes a time in every person's life where he or she feels unfulfilled, and empty inside. For me, this feeling comes every Wednesday at 10:00. It means I need a donut. Come join me (and the HsO) in filling the emptiness inside with pastry this morning in the staff lounge. There will also be coffee. BYOMug. You can also help fill the emptiness inside our donation jar.

U? I already did a U-word. How about Untamed?

Come have a donut/doughnut this morning at 10:00.
Staff Lounge
BYO mug
BYO $$$

Life and Donuts

I’ve noticed some parallels between life and our weekly donut hour. Donuts seems to be a microcosm of our lives. We go to donuts, hoping to see someone we haven’t seen in a while, but they’re busy, or far away in their offices. Sometimes, we choose the same donut we’ve chosen week after week, and wish we’d chosen a different one. It’s possible to choose two, or even more, but we all know how we feel about guys like that. With the people, too, it’s easy to talk to the same faces week after week, comfortable in our rut, when we know we should branch out and talk to someone new.
Maybe it’s the stress of finishing, I don’t know…

PS->Donuts this week courtesy of Tim Terris. Thanks, Tim!

Favorite Donuts

My Favorite Things:
Mountain biking in the rain
The Mighty Boosh
Having a proposal funded
Uninhibited sneezes
The taste of mud
Fridays at Bier One
Sleeping in
Whiskey sours
And, best of all:
Wednesday Donuts!

Be there or be square.

PS->Donuts this week courtesy of Maryann Bozza. Thanks, Maryann!

Eel Wednesday!

Eel Enthusiasts,
It's Eel Wednesday! Join your fellow Hatfielders in sampling 36 different kinds of delicious, slimy eels! Mmm, eels! Smoked eels, eel pie, fried eel, eel stew: we've got it all. Eels are full of deliciosity and vitamin yum. Wednesday, 10:00am

PS->For eels, read "donuts". Eels this week are provided by Tom Wainwright. Thanks, Tom!


You all know me. I have travelled far and wide, studied much and learned little. In distant corners of the globe I have earned many names, and less respect. Some people name me Dr. Johansson. Others call me The Director. I am known as Don Julio, Third Bismarck of Madrid. In the dark corners of the Earth, I am named The Mad Cruller. In the darkest corners, I am named only in a whisper. Some call me Maurice, the Space Cowboy. In some places I am called The Watcher in the Water; Slayer of Crabs and Lover of Rockfish. At times, I have been called Reverend, and Mr. President, and Pipsqueak.
Now, you should know me as the King of all Doughnuts, Mattias the First; Lord Protector of Beignet and Zeppole and Spritzkuchen.
As Donut King, I hereby invite you to join me in a celebration of all fried pastry Wednesday morning at 10:00.

PS->Donuts this week come courtesy of Ben Laurel, Prince of Merveilles and Bottereaux. Thanks, Ben!

Addicted to Donuts

The lights are on, but you’re not home
your mind is not your own
your heart sweats, your body shakes
another donut is what it takes

You can’t sleep, you can’t eat
there’s no doubt, you’re in deep
your throat is tight, you can’t breathe
another donut is all you need

Whoa, you like to think that you’re immune to the stuff, oh Yeah
it’s closer to the truth to say you can’t get enough,
you know you’re gonna have to face it, you’re addicted to donuts

Thankfully, it’s Wednesday morning.

PS->Donuts this morning courtesy of Chris Magel. Thanks, Chris!

Donut Love

I first saw her ordering coffee at the deli counter. The most beautiful girl in the store. Soft skin, lovely eyes, and a glorious smile. I knew I had to make her mine. Imagine my surprise when she approached me. The graceful way she opened a paper bag melted my heart, then she opened the case. I knew from her look that I was the one she wanted. As she put me into her bag, I knew we would be together forever: she, as my precious love; and I as the cellulite on her butt.

PS->Donuts this morning courtesy of Mark Camara. Thanks, Mark!