Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Donut Tech

The Dunkin Tiger Stripe bar was a donut manufactured by Dunkin Donuts as an upgrade to the Dunkin Maple Bar. The earlier Maple Bar had introduced liquid frosting, computerized dough injection and two-stage frying to the company's zero-hole donuts. In 1991 Dunkin increased the frosting of the Maple Bar to two layers to create the Tiger Stripe. Both donuts featured the DuoMono concept in which two monkeys were employed in testing the quality of every donut by licking them before sale.
Continuing refinement yielded the next two generations of the Dunkin zero-hole donut, resulting in the Maple Bacon Bar and Chocolate Bar lines.
Mmm. Pre-licked donuts. Come out and have one (or two) tomorrow at 10am. LAP S185

PS->Donuts this week courtesy of Kim Quartemont. Kim is really fast. Like, Usain Bolt fast. She can also jump really high. And she can outthink really smart people, like the people in this department. Think of something great? Kim already thought of that. But the great thing is, she’s not the type to rub our noses in it. Instead, she buys us donuts. Thanks, Kim!

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Donuts ease the pain.

Since Filipe left us for Portugal over the weekend, there’s been much wailing and gnashing of teeth in mourning in the Alberto Lab. Sara’s immune system completely collapsed, Heidi’s beautiful singing voice completely dissipated, my whole head went numb, and the less said about Nelson’s condition, the better. Then, we remembered that Donuts is tomorrow. And all is suddenly well.
Be there. LAP S185. 10am Wednesdays.

PS->Donuts this week courtesy of Dr. Stefan Schnitzer. Dr. Schnitzer spells his first name the Swedish way, so you can tell he’s a good guy. He’s also a genius, because he figured out that the best place to be during the Milwaukee winter is Panama. While we’re freezing our booties, Dr. Schnitzer is munching fried plantains and thinking about lianas. And then he pays for donuts to remind us all that he’s great. Thanks, Dr. Schnitzer!

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Wednesdays are made for donuts.

As anyone who knows me knows, I’m a real creature of habit. I prefer a predictable life.
As a student, it used to be Monday: mountain bike, Tuesday: Rogue Brewery, Wednesday: Donuts, Thursday: mountain bike, Friday: Bier One, Saturday: mountain bike, Sunday: bath. Occasionally I would get work done.
Since there isn’t a forest behind my work anymore, and I hardly go to bars at all, things have changed a bit. There’s more gym days and less bar days, for one. One constant, though, is getting together with my work friends at Wednesday Donuts. It’s so nice to look forward to midweek instead of just the weekend.
You should try it. Even if you don’t want a donut, the weekly chat and coffee is great.
See you there!
Lap S185, 10am Wednesday.

PS->Donuts this week courtesy of Valeria Sitenkova. Val is a pretty, intelligent Russian woman. If my careful studies of James Bond films are any guide, that means that she’s a spy. There’s a distinct possibility that she’s sending microfilms of our students’ lab work to her handlers in the KGB, or whatever they’re called now…

The other possibility is that we’re just lucky to work with someone like Val, who is good at her job and generous with donut funds. Thanks, Val!

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Welcome Back, Donuts

Welcome Back, Donuts is a Portuguese television sitcom starring Filipe Alberto and featuring a young Nelson Coelho.

The show starred stand-up comic/ actor/ assistant professor Filipe Alberto as a wisecracking professor who returns to UWM, after the summer, to teach an often unruly group of remedial loafers known as the "Alberto Lab" (The nickname reflected the fact that the remedial classes were held in the basement). The school's president was perpetually absent, while the uptight vice president dismissed the Alberto Lab as worthless hoodlums and only expected Alberto to attempt to contain them until they inevitably got advanced degrees or professorships.

Most of the major characters of Welcome Back, Donuts were based on people from Alberto's teen years as a remedial high school student in Lisbon. As a stand-up comic, one of Alberto's most popular routines was "Biostatistics", in which he talked in depth about his former classmates. The names of three of the four major characters in Biostatistics were changed for the television series: “Mattias Johansson” was inspired by Matthias Johanssen, “Sara 'Boom Boom' Schaal” was inspired by Heidi “Hotsy Totsy” Hargarten; and "Juan Epstein" was partially inspired by Nelson “Bunny Epstein” Coelho; only "Jack Daniels’" name remained unchanged. (However, in Alberto's stand-up routine, this character was always referred to as "Southern Comfort" which could not be used on network television.)

Donuts, like undergraduates, are back in a big way! Lapham S185, 10:00 Wednesdays.

PS->You know who’s great? Linda Whittingham. She’s supporting our first donuts of the semester, because she’s nice. She’s also a fantastic scientist, mentor, and birder. For some reason, she doesn’t eat donuts, though. But that’s the only black mark on her record.