tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27138024337951620042024-02-18T23:45:09.949-08:00The DonuteriaA collection of musings on the meaning of life, and donuts.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17153349112025026398noreply@blogger.comBlogger283125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2713802433795162004.post-92071449733448366772014-11-19T10:39:00.001-08:002014-11-19T10:39:27.092-08:00Winter donuts, already?!?<div class="MsoNormal">
I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but oh the weather outside
is frightful. Thankfully, donuts are so delightful. And since we've no place to
go (but work), let it snow. It doesn't show signs of stopping, and Heidi’s
putting on some coffee. The lights are not turned down low. Let it snow. Let it
snow. Let it snow. Donuts, LAP S185, 10am. (If you’re shy and reserved, rather
than sneaking into the office for a donut at 11, feel free to knock 3 times on
the door to 185 and we’ll all look away as you come in for a donut.)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-MLJ<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
PS->Donuts this week courtesy of Erica Young and John
Berges. Honestly, these two good people might be the nicest (and my favorite)
married professor couple consisting of two people from Commonwealth countries
who have both worked in Europe and are now employed in Wisconsin I’ve ever met.
Seriously, they’re great. <o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17153349112025026398noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2713802433795162004.post-27021018219356337322014-11-12T05:58:00.001-08:002014-11-12T05:58:51.516-08:00John Powell's Last Donuts! LAP N202<div class="MsoNormal">
Dr. John Powell, the best Postdoc in the Bio Department, is
leaving us. Lucky bastard, he’s managed to land a permanent gig in that
paradise on the St. Mary’s River, Sault Ste. Marie, Michigan. I know it’s hard
to hear this news, but we have to try to think mostly of John, and his lovely
family. I can’t help but think that the department will struggle, without
John’s noble mustache to lead us on, but we’ll move forward together. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Come make your peace with John’s departure today at
Wednesday Donuts: 10am in LAP N202.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-MLJ<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
PS->Turns out, that noble mustache is concealing a noble
heart. John’s chipping in the cost of donuts this week as a farewell.<o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17153349112025026398noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2713802433795162004.post-14457710046731078652014-10-29T06:36:00.002-07:002014-10-29T06:36:09.674-07:00Donut endings and Donut beginnings<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s grey and cold this morning and my mind turns to the
coming winter, and the winding down of my time here at UWM. As a confirmed
creature of habit, it makes me wonder what the future holds. Are things going
to be better in a new place? What happens to the donut empire I’ve built here?
Will someone carry on the tradition, or will this tiny light, trying to draw
the department closer, go out? Either way, I’d love to see donuts go out with a
flourish. If you haven’t been in a while, come out for one last cruller before
I move on.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Wednesday Donuts, 10am, LAP S185<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-MLJ<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
PS->Donuts this week courtesy of my donut heir, Heidi
“MLJ v.2” Hargarten. <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17153349112025026398noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2713802433795162004.post-34158843645386055452014-10-22T06:04:00.002-07:002014-10-22T06:04:34.903-07:00Donuts and Fountain Pens<div class="MsoNormal">
I found a really cool fountain pen in my mailbox this week,
along with a note from my friend Ben Franklin. To say it made my day would be a
major understatement. There’s nothing quite as much fun (in the writing world)
as writing with a fountain pen. So I resolved to write this week’s donut email
with the pen. What a pleasure. Then, halfway through I realized that I didn’t
know how to get a handwritten donut email out to everyone. So, I rewrote the
email with the keyboard. I’m not sure how I’ll get the scratches out of the
monitor either, but that’s an email for another day.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Wednesday Donuts, 10 am, LAP S185.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-MLJ<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
PS->This is the last week of Ben’s generous donation. If
you’ve got $20 burning a hole in your pocket, let Heidi or I know.<o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17153349112025026398noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2713802433795162004.post-50314237622636986182014-10-15T06:25:00.002-07:002014-10-15T06:25:48.487-07:00Donuts in the best of all possible worlds<div class="MsoNormal">
We live in a golden age. Crime is way down. Rates of
worldwide poverty and hunger have never been lower. You can carry your music
collection in your pocket, even if it’s too big to fit on a single cassette.
PhDs in Biology are abundant across the land. Sounds like it might be time to
celebrate! Wednesday Donuts, LAP S185, 10am.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-MLJ<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
PS->Donuts this week courtesy of our dear friend,
“Benjamin Franklin”. Did you know: Franklin coined one of my favorite phrases,
“In the dark all cats are grey”, modernized to “All cats are grey in the dark.”
Awesome. Founding father, kite enthusiast, lover of old cats. What a good guy.<o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17153349112025026398noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2713802433795162004.post-23491023424819989772014-10-13T11:12:00.003-07:002014-10-13T11:12:34.623-07:00Donut Job?<div class="MsoNormal">
Beloved colleagues,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ve just revised my job application cover letter for an
assistant professor job I’m applying for at the University of the Northwest.
Can you take a look at it and offer suggestions?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Dear Search Committee,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m writing to apply for your recently advertised position
in Molecular Genetics. Please, please, please give me a job. I’m desperate. My
wife said she’d leave me if I don’t get a real job soon. How about this: if you
hire me, I’ll start a Wednesday Donuts in your department? Mmm, donuts.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yours Sincerely and Professionally,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Mattias Johansson<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Wednesday Donuts, LAP S185, 10am<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-MLJ<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
PS->Donuts this week courtesy of our mysterious friend,
Ben Franklin. As great as he/she is, I’m thinking Ben Franklin should be
president. Of Earth. I’m starting the campaign now, so if you want to
volunteer, let me know. As Obama showed us, it’s all about your ground game.<o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17153349112025026398noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2713802433795162004.post-75703079676526893442014-10-13T11:12:00.000-07:002014-10-13T11:12:07.861-07:00Wild donut conjecture<div class="MsoNormal">
Thankfully, we still don’t know the identity of our
mysterious donut benefactor, “Benjamin Franklin”. So now it’s time for some
wild conjecture about their identity, based on no evidence (a la CNN). First,
we know that the note was written in pen. So, they’re obviously intelligent
enough to write with a pen. Unfortunately, while this eliminates all
departments outside of Biology, it doesn’t tell us more than we already
suspected. The next clue is that the pen they used was blue. This suggests that
they are quite physically attractive (beautiful, or possibly handsome), in
addition to their intelligence. Again, this pretty much encompasses all of
Biology, plus Jordan and our beloved janitorial team. So, no closer to the
truth. I guess it remains a mystery. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Great!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Wednesday Donuts, LAP S185, 10am.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-MLJ<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
PS->Donuts courtesy of Biology’s Best Friend Forever
(BBFF), “Ben Franklin” (BF)!<o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17153349112025026398noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2713802433795162004.post-65769892274701508532014-10-13T11:11:00.001-07:002014-10-13T11:11:22.245-07:00A Donut Mystery<div class="MsoNormal">
A week or so ago, something interesting happened. I got mail
in my mailbox. While that in itself was pretty great (and rare), the mail
itself was even better. In an envelope labelled Wednesday Donuts, I found an
anonymous note. The note said:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
“Ben was pushing Patrick Henry to
use the phrase “give me Liberty or give me donuts” but it didn’t pass the
marketing test. He’d be proud to sponsor the Wednesday Liberty Donuts”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Clipped to the note was a month’s worth of sponsorship, in
the form of a crisp $100 bill.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To say that it made my day would be a major understatement.
There’s nothing I like better than an anonymous (and mysterious) gift. I’m
still smiling at the charm of it all. I hope the mystery is never solved. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, thanks, Ben Franklin. You’ve really made me smile.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Wednesday Donuts, 10am, LAP S185.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
-MLJ<o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17153349112025026398noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2713802433795162004.post-89135155563862479362014-10-13T11:10:00.003-07:002014-10-13T11:10:55.526-07:00Liz Kierepka's Last Donuts!<div class="MsoNormal">
Liz K. is about to shake the dust of Milwaukee off her feet
and start living the Hollywood lifestyle of the PostDoc. We’ll miss her
conversation, her love of fine food and fine mini bottles of wine, and her
techniques for distracting dancin’ pirates. She won’t miss us at all, because
she’ll have all the wealth and power that come with being a PostDoc. Come
celebrate her coming up in life tomorrow at Wednesday Donuts, LAP S185,
10:00am.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-MLJ<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
PS->Donuts courtesy of Dr. Liz Kierepka! A generous last
gesture on her way to bigger and better things. ;-)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
PPS->To the mysterious “Ben Franklin”: Thanks! Your
generosity really made our day (and the next 5 weeks). More later.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17153349112025026398noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2713802433795162004.post-24878663193043922312014-10-13T11:10:00.001-07:002014-10-13T11:10:12.057-07:00Thoughtful Donuts, N202<div class="MsoNormal">
I woke up this morning around 3:30 with shoulder pain, as I
have for the past week or so. The great thing about waking up really early is
that it gives you plenty of time to think. As I lay there, I thought to myself
how great my situation is. I love my job, and the people I work with. I work in
a great department, full of awesome people. I own the motorcycle that I’ve
dreamed about owning since I was 15 (even if I can’t ride it properly). I get
together with colleagues for donuts every week. Truly, not a bad life at all.
Now, if only I could sleep until 6:30…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Donuts is in N202 this morning, 10am.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-MLJ<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
PS->Donuts this week courtesy of Jordan Gonnering,
building technical guy extraordinaire. Jordan is great because he supports
donuts, but he also regularly supports crazy Alberto Lab schemes. Whether we
need to build an Ikea hack standing desk or saw something in half, he’s there
with the tools and advice. Thanks for all the support, Jordan!<o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17153349112025026398noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2713802433795162004.post-65051867641374341302014-10-13T11:09:00.003-07:002014-10-13T11:09:40.925-07:00Recovery Donuts<div class="MsoNormal">
Contrary to popular belief, Wednesday Donuts is not my only
interest. I ski, kayak, mountain bike, and hike. I also ride a motorcycle. On
Sunday, I did my first track day with my Ducati. Track days are awesome, in
that you can practice your riding skills while away from many of the dangers of
riding a motorcycle on the road. And it’s amazingly fun. Bombing down the front
straight at 100+mph makes you feel like a superhero, no joke. Unfortunately,
it’s not completely risk free… so, of course a moment of inattentiveness (and
edge-of-the-track target fixation) and I binned the Ducati coming out of the
chicane. Luckily, both I and the bike were relatively unscathed. Unluckily, my
one injury is a pretty serious clavicle fracture. I’ll be hunkering down in the
safety of Wednesday Donuts, recovering, for the next 6-8 weeks. Feel free to
join me tomorrow, 10 am in LAP S185.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-MLJ <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
PS->Donuts this week courtesy of Ambi Henschen and Becky
Schneider. As far as I know, neither girl has ever crashed a motorcycle, but I
won’t hold that against them. They’re still generous, and pretty cool. Thanks,
ladies!<o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17153349112025026398noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2713802433795162004.post-75365902548963764002014-10-13T11:09:00.001-07:002014-10-13T11:09:18.519-07:00Nelson's Last Donuts!<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;">So, the day
we've been dreading is finally (nearly) here. Nelson's packing up his Milwaukee
life and heading back to old Europe. It's a sad moment, but it's been a year of
great memories. There was that time we played a farewell concert on the roof of
Lapham Hall, the time we won a shrimp eating contest (and found out later that
the shrimp were bad, if you know what I mean), the time Nelson pipetted a bunch
of samples... Man, the list goes on and on. I know the Alberto Lab is going to
miss him, as will lots of other people. But, all good things have to come to an
end. Come to donuts and wish Nelson a fond farewell. If he leaves donuts early,
we can just reminisce about stuff that may never have happened instead.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;">Wednesday
Donuts, LAP S185, 10am.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;">-MLJ<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;">PS->Donuts
this week courtesy of our own beloved Nelson, generous to the last. Thanks,
Nelson!<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17153349112025026398noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2713802433795162004.post-36411353702184407892014-10-13T11:08:00.006-07:002014-10-13T11:08:57.047-07:00Donuts in N202 today!<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;">Donuts this
week courtesy of the Amazing Four, who gained superpowers after exposure to
cosmic rays during a scientific experiment in their lab. The Amazing Four are:
Mister Kangaroo (Justin Speck), a scientific genius and the leader of the
group, who can transform into a red kangaroo in order to kick enemies or jump
over stuff; Concrete Man (Adwaita Parida), who can control concrete with his
mind and is best known for his "cinderblock punch"; Venus Flytrap
(Sydnee Rausch), who swallows enemies whole and digests them slowly for their
sweet, sweet nitrogen; and the Waterboy (Shubhajit Mitra), who is capable of
transforming into any form of H20 in order to pass through tight spaces or
freeze an enemy's head off. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;">Thanks, Amazing
Four! Your secret identities are safe with me.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;">Donuts in N202
this week. 10am.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;">-MLJ<o:p></o:p></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17153349112025026398noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2713802433795162004.post-48748078473291387602014-10-13T11:08:00.004-07:002014-10-13T11:08:34.828-07:00At least there are Donuts<div style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;">There are some pretty scary things going on in the world right
now. Planes are crashing, Eastern Europe is turning into a war zone, the Gaza
Strip is being blown to kingdom come, Ebola keeps spreading farther across
Africa, the plastic everywhere is slowly poisoning us, people still say climate
change is a hoax, there are land slides and floods and fires, the US
government is I don't even know...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;">But hey, at least we have each other. And coffee and donuts.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;">Come to Lap 185 for a little Kum Ba Ya and donut therapy to ease
your mind at 10am Today.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;">HLH<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;">PS Donuts this week are brought to you by the one and only Jena
Rock! She's pretty great, and always has a positive message to lift your
spirits when you're feeling down and without a donut. Thanks Jena!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17153349112025026398noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2713802433795162004.post-32459378966817653802014-10-13T11:08:00.002-07:002014-10-13T11:08:10.630-07:00The Reason for Donuts<div class="MsoPlainText">
The following is a semi accurate transcript from the
birth of Wednesday Donuts:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
Mattias: Hey Heidi, I have an idea.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
Heidi: Ok....<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
Mattias: We sit down here in the basement and we don't
get to meet very many people in our department. We work all day everyday, and
that's good fun, but wouldn't it be great if we could meet our fellow
scientists here at UWM? We used to do this thing called 'Donuts' at my previous
post doc at the Hatfield Marine Science Center. We would bring donuts each
week, sponsored by one of the faculty, and we would all hang out for a half
hour or hour and catch up. I learned some really interesting research from
doing this and we even started more inter departmental collaborations. Plus it
was good to take a break during the middle of the week. I found my productivity
went up too.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
Heidi: That's a fantastic idea Mattias! I would like to
get to know my fellow grad students too. I'm genuinely interested in what other
people are doing. This might help my networking skills too, since it can be
difficult to talk to new people sometimes. I like the idea of creating more of
a community within our department. It does get mighty lonely down here in
basement...<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
Mattias: Excellent. You're the grad student, so you're
going to do all the work, ie find donors, pick up the donuts, set up and take
down... those sorts of things. I'm going to write witty emails each week to the
department to invite everyone to join us.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
Heidi: Sounds good Mattias.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
Wednesday Donuts: Trying to create a sense community in
the Bio Sci Department since January 2013. Stop on by at 10am in S185 today to
grab a slice and meet someone new!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
HLH<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoPlainText">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoPlainText">
PS Donuts this week brought to you by members of the
Young Lab, Jake and Livia. Jake is a PhD student doing crazy things with meat
eating plants... I think he said something about making an army of killer
mutant plants for the government. I've never seen Livia before this summer, so
its quite possible she's from the government as well, helping him carry out his
evil plan, or spying on all of us. It's always the quiet ones you have to watch
out for...<o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17153349112025026398noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2713802433795162004.post-15954778171322288572014-10-13T11:07:00.001-07:002014-10-13T11:07:41.534-07:00Party in the L.A.B<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #212121; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">"Party in the
L.A.B"<br />
<br />
He hopped on the plane at 8:50<br />
Said "gonna be gone three weeeeeks"<br />
Off to the land of Swedish fish<br />
with his wife to see the sights<br />
<br />
Left me alone<br />
with undergrads for the first time<br />
Look to my right and I see Nelson smiling<br />
This is all so crazy<br />
We can totally have some fun now!<br />
<br />
Nelson brought the chips and I've got a 12-pack <br />
Undergrads are gettin' nervous<br />
That's when Nelson said turn up the radio<br />
And a Jay-Z song was on<br />
And a Jay-Z song was on<br />
And a Jay-Z song was oooooonnnnnnn<br />
<br />
So we put our hands up<br />
The PostDoc's gone<br />
The butterflies fly away<br />
Noddin' our heads like yeah<br />
Pumpin' our fists like yeah<br />
We got our hands up<br />
the PostDocs gone<br />
This is gonna be fun<br />
Yeeaaaahhhhhhh, its a party in the L.A.B<br />
Yeeaaaahhhhhhh, its a party in the L.A.B<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
If you want to sing along at Wednesday Donuts at 10am in 185 with us, its to
the tune of "Party In The USA" by Miley Cyrus. We will have it on
repeat the whole hour so you wont miss a beat.<br />
<br />
HLH<br />
<br />
PS Donuts this week are courtesy of Dr. Chuck Wimpee. Chuck is a man of many
talents, and one is his mad skills on the acoustic guitar. Seriously, he
brought me to tears one time. I bet he's the best guitar player in the
department. Maybe next week he'll bring it to Wednesday Donuts and serenade us
all....<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17153349112025026398noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2713802433795162004.post-39686213722123749762014-10-13T10:46:00.001-07:002014-10-13T10:46:03.947-07:00I can't be funny every week: Wednesday Donuts<div class="MsoNormal">
I can’t really come up with anything funny to write this
week. With my postdoc here ending at the end of the year, I’ve been looking for
my next opportunity. Sadly, it’s not going to be the permanent gig I’ve been
hoping for, but I’m deciding between two different postdoc offers right now. I
realize that it’s a wonderful problem to have, but it’s stressing me the heck
out. How can you ever know what the right option is? Without a time machine, I
mean. I’m naturally a worrier, so I can’t help but wonder if choosing one or
the other will permanently torpedo my career. Stupid, maybe, but it does help
me wake up nice and early in the morning. 2:30 or thereabouts…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Anyway, Wednesday Donuts. 10am LAP S185.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-MLJ<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
PS->Donuts this week courtesy of Kim Scherzer. Kim is a
big reason that this department is a good place to work. She’s also been a
steadfast supporter of Wednesday Donuts. I asked her to buy last week, but she
didn’t have any cash. Then, money just appeared in my mailbox on Monday, with a
note from Kim. Awesome.<o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17153349112025026398noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2713802433795162004.post-47471642607253155012014-10-13T10:45:00.001-07:002014-10-13T10:45:19.913-07:00Travel Donuts<div class="MsoNormal">
So, I took a quick trip over to Windsor, Ontario on Monday
as a “Visiting Scientist” (nudge, nudge, wink). Windsor is really close to
Detroit, so it’s usually a pretty easy trip over. Since I booked the trip
pretty late, I couldn’t get a direct to Detroit, so I ended up going through
O’Hare. And then, on the trip back, the US travel system kerploded because
there were thunderstorms in Chicago. To cut a long story short, it was the
first time I’ve ever had a plane delayed more than three hours where my
domestic connection WAS STILL THERE WAITING FOR ME. F***, it’s good to be home…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And in time for Donuts! (Just barely). LAP S185, 10:00am.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-MLJ<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
PS->Donuts this week courtesy of Tony Paladino, our
favorite “Italian Financial Guy” (nudge, nudge, wink). Sadly, Tony’s beloved
Italians were eliminated from the World Cup yesterday by some South American
cannibals. Not some isolated tribe, but the Uruguayan national team. To make
Tony feel better, you should definitely visit him in his office, pat the back
of his hand, and say “There, there, Tony. There, there.” Don’t worry if there’s
a line out the door, Tony has all day. Everyone will get a turn.<o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17153349112025026398noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2713802433795162004.post-63377070658614448242014-10-13T10:44:00.002-07:002014-10-13T10:44:50.002-07:00No Donuts? No thanks!<div class="MsoNormal">
As is common in the Postdoc game, my position here at UWM is
winding down as the money runs out. So, I’ve been applying for new
opportunities elsewhere, and figuring out where the winds of fortune will carry
me next. I managed to sweet talk my way into an interview at J___ College
last week, which seems to have gone well. Shockingly, they don’t have a Wednesday
Donuts program, yet. I thought to myself, “No Wednesday Donuts? No Thanks!”
Then I realized, I could take inspiration from the great man who started
Wednesday Donuts at UWM and start my own in a new place. Then I further
realized, I AM the great man who started Wednesday Donuts. And all was well.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Wednesday Donuts, LAP S185, 10am.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-MLJ<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
PS->Donuts this week courtesy of our favorite league of
supervillains, the Consortium of Catastrophe. Apparently they’re bothered by
their current low approval ratings, so they’re working on an outreach campaign.
I’m not sure it’ll work, but it was decent of them to chip in. Thanks, CoC!<o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17153349112025026398noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2713802433795162004.post-68879566744253847962014-10-13T10:44:00.000-07:002014-10-13T10:44:10.439-07:00Sweet Donut O' Mine<div class="MsoNormal">
It's got a shape that it seems to me<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Reminds me of childhood memories<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Where everything<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Was as fresh as a new Krispy Kreme<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now and then when I see that shape<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It takes me away to that<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
special place<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And if I stared too long<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I'd probably get a crazy sugar craving<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sweet donut o' mine<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sweet love of mine<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Where do we go<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Where do we go now<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Where do we go<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Wednesday Donuts, LAP S185 10am<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-MLJ<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
PS->Donuts this week courtesy of Dr. Laurel Symes. Dr.
Laurel is a highly sought-after frog communicator. Once, I had her translate
some stuff this frog was telling me. It turned out to be so filthy and obscene
that I can’t repeat it here, but I do remember that toads were mentioned
several times. Mmm, toads.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17153349112025026398noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2713802433795162004.post-17514549171617006102014-05-27T18:27:00.002-07:002014-05-27T18:27:53.021-07:00Memorial Day Donuts<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 75.55pt; margin-top: 0in; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif";">Donuts this week
courtesy of Shubhajit Mitra. As he particularly mentioned Memorial Day, and the
importance of remembering the men and women who died while serving in the
United States’ armed forces, here’s a story about soldiers and donuts, courtesy
of NPR. If you feel particularly inspired by the story, you can support NPR <a href="http://www.npr.org/stations/donate/index.php?ps=st273">here</a>, and the
American Red Cross <a href="http://www.redcross.org/">here</a>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 75.55pt; margin-top: 0in; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 15.6pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 75.55pt; margin-top: 0in; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">The story starts when Russ
Roberts, a George Mason University economist, started hearing about how
veterans don't like the Red Cross. That struck him as odd, and when he asked
about it, he always got the same answer: the doughnuts.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; box-sizing: border-box; float: none; font-size: 1.6rem; margin: 0in 75.55pt 15.6pt 0in; max-width: 690px; min-height: 1px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">"And
I thought, the doughnuts?" Roberts says. "What could that be?"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; box-sizing: border-box; float: none; font-size: 1.6rem; margin: 0in 75.55pt 15.6pt 0in; max-width: 690px; min-height: 1px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">Go to
any VFW hall, even today, and you'll get the same story: During World War II,
the Red Cross had comfort stations for soldiers overseas, with free coffee and
free doughnuts. Then, in 1942, the Red Cross started charging for the
doughnuts. Soldiers have held a grudge ever since.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; box-sizing: border-box; float: none; font-size: 1.6rem; margin: 0in 75.55pt 15.6pt 0in; max-width: 690px; min-height: 1px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">Turns
out it's true.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; box-sizing: border-box; float: none; font-size: 1.6rem; margin: 0in 75.55pt 15.6pt 0in; max-width: 690px; min-height: 1px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">"It
keeps coming up, that they were charged for coffee and doughnuts," says
Susan Watson, archivist for the Red Cross.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; box-sizing: border-box; float: none; font-size: 1.6rem; margin: 0in 75.55pt 15.6pt 0in; max-width: 690px; min-height: 1px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">The
organization started charging only because the U.S. Secretary of War asked it
to. British soldiers had to pay for their snacks, and the free doughnuts for
Americans were causing tensions. So the Red Cross complied, after protesting to
no avail. It didn't last long — for most of the last 70 years, Red Cross
doughnuts have remained free — but veterans haven't forgotten.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; box-sizing: border-box; float: none; font-size: 1.6rem; margin: 0in 75.55pt 15.6pt 0in; max-width: 690px; min-height: 1px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">Chalk
it up to something called categorical change, says Uri Simonsohn, a University
of Pennsylvania business professor. Price changes, people can adjust to. But
this was different.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; box-sizing: border-box; float: none; font-size: 1.6rem; margin: 0in 75.55pt 15.6pt 0in; max-width: 690px; min-height: 1px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">"Imagine,
for Thanksgiving, you go to your parents' for dinner and after a nice dinner
they say, 'That's going to be $10 per person,' " Simonsohn says. "You
would be upset."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; box-sizing: border-box; float: none; font-size: 1.6rem; margin: 0in 75.55pt 15.6pt 0in; max-width: 690px; min-height: 1px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">The
problem isn't the price — $10 for a good turkey dinner might not be such a bad
deal — but that you're being charged in the first place. It changes the
relationship. For the veterans, the Red Cross went from being a little like
Mom, to being the corner store.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; box-sizing: border-box; float: none; font-size: 1.6rem; margin: 0in 75.55pt 15.6pt 0in; max-width: 690px; min-height: 1px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;">So
for all the Internet companies out there looking to charge for your service —
take heed. Changing categories is really difficult.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17153349112025026398noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2713802433795162004.post-80623901695979760952014-05-21T06:02:00.000-07:002014-05-21T06:02:24.036-07:00I lived to come to donuts!<div class="MsoNormal">
I went mountain biking with Filipe on Sunday, on the
Milwaukee River Trail. It was pretty great, but at one point, as I was trying
to negotiate a narrow curve between a tree on one side and eternity on the
other, I found myself having to confront both. Trying to sneak too close to the
tree, I banged my shoulder into it and ended up flying off the other side of
the trail. As I vaulted four feet sideways and four feet down to land with a
kersplash in the river, I thought of donuts and you, my beloved colleagues. To
my surprise, I survived to crawl ashore. Lucky to be alive, I’ll be at
Wednesday Donuts this morning, counting my blessings. I hope you’ll be there
too. LAP S185. 10am.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-MLJ<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
PS->Donuts this week courtesy of Dr. Colin Scanes. In Dr.
Scanes’ honor, I’ve composed a song of thanks, sung to the tune of O
Tannenbaum:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Oh, Colin Scanes Oh, Colin Scanes<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Your wallet held a twenty<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Oh, Colin Scanes Oh, Colin Scanes<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You’re generous in summertime<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I put this line in ‘cause it rhymes<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Oh, Colin Scanes Oh, Colin Scanes<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I found you in your office<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Oh, Colin Scanes Oh, Colin Scanes<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Of all the Bio faculty<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You seem the most British to me<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Oh, Colin Scanes Oh, Colin Scanes<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Your wallet held a twenty.<o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17153349112025026398noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2713802433795162004.post-29899078932739228772014-05-15T05:38:00.002-07:002014-05-15T05:38:33.478-07:00It's Evil Sara's Last Donuts!<div class="MsoNormal">
Our little undergrad is growing up. I can still remember
when she joined the lab. Heidi and I went to help proctor Dr. Alberto’s stats
exam, and looking over all the innocent faces I asked Heidi, “Which one’s our
one?” When she pointed Evil Sara out I thought, “Hmm, interesting.” But she was
barely even “Bad Sara” then. In the intervening year or so, she’s grown as a
scientician and as a villain, so that now we’re proud to call her the best
undergraduate we’ve ever worked with (N=1). And she’s leaving us for greener
pastures. Not until August, really, but she’ll only be around the lab one day a
week after Friday…and it’s not Wednesday, sadly.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-MLJ<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
PS->Donuts this week courtesy of EVIL SARA! I’ve already
talked enough about her, though. You know what else is great? My motorcycle.
It’s a Ducati 900SS. Beautiful, and looks fast (but isn’t really that fast, by
Ducati standards). I keep trying to convince my wife that we need more
motorcycles, but she doesn’t really believe it.<o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17153349112025026398noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2713802433795162004.post-72037652586439582062014-05-15T05:37:00.003-07:002014-05-15T05:37:59.416-07:00Wonuts? Bah, back in my day...<div class="MsoNormal">
So, I read on this newfangled inter-net blog from NPR that
there’s a new donut hybrid available:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://www.npr.org/blogs/thesalt/2014/05/05/309760553/sandwich-monday-the-wonut">http://www.npr.org/blogs/thesalt/2014/05/05/309760553/sandwich-monday-the-wonut</a><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Personally, I just can’t understand this trend. First you
have your cronut, then the sconut, then the blonut (that’s the bubblegum-filled
one that’s so popular now). Where does it end? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In my day, we were happy if the donuts were filled at all.
Sometimes it was mustard, but we were still happy. Those were different times,
back in the mid-2000s. That’s why we stick with the old ways at Wednesday
Donuts. No fusion donuts here, just old-fashioned donuts for people with
old-fashioned ivory tower values. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Wednesday Donuts – LAP S185 10am.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-MLJ<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
PS->Donuts this week courtesy of Dr. John Berges. Dr.
Berges is Canadian, eh. In Canada the national religion is to worship a former
hockey player, Tim Horton. Some people go to the Tim Horton temple every day.
With that level of religious fervor, it might be time for some drone strikes.
Just saying. Canadians are good people though, because they share our
Wisconsinian love of cheese that’s chewed up and spit out. Our mutual love of
cheese curds may protect us in the event of a donut-themed religious war... <o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17153349112025026398noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2713802433795162004.post-71099399505012688242014-04-30T06:39:00.002-07:002014-05-15T05:37:12.913-07:00Wednesday Donuts<div class="MsoNormal">
Remember all the fun we had last Friday? Eating cupcakes,
looking at posters, thinking about how great the Department of Biological
Sciences is? You can relive some of that fun today, at Wednesday Donuts. We’ll
reminisce about our favorite talks, debate whether the poster session would
have functioned as a sauna (if only we could have found some towels to wear),
and get a morning caffeine boost. Be there, or Evil Sara will dissolve you with
a withering look.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
-MLJ</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
PS->Donuts this week courtesy of Dr. Sonia Bardy. Chant
it with me now: So-nia Bar-dy clap-clap clapclapclap, So-nia Bar-dy clap-clap
clapclapclap, So-nia Bar-dy clap-clap clapclapclap, So-nia Bar-dy clap-clap
clapclapclap. She’s great, isn’t she? Thanks, Dr. Bardy!<o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17153349112025026398noreply@blogger.com0