Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Energy Crisis Solved: Donuts

As you all know, donuts have a variety of uses and benefits. Eating them makes us happy, they give us energy to work all day, and they make us more attractive to the opposite sex. Our weekly donut buying can be thought of as a small bailout program for the local donut vendors. And donuts bring us together as a family every Wednesday at 10:00.

Now, it turns out that donuts are about to solve the energy crisis as well…


(Thanks, Tomas!) 


Donut Greeting Cards


Roses are red

Donuts are brown


Today is your birthday,

So let’s party down!



Have you ever noticed how life is like weekly donuts?


It’s best enjoyed when we keep it fresh!



Romantic gestures are like donuts


The sweetness is great, but it’s best to stop before you get nauseous.


Donuts this morning, don’t forget!


DO121 Final Exam

DO121 The Donut and Society
Final Exam
200 Points
On your own paper, please answer TWO of the following three questions.
1. In Albert Camus' "The Donut", the main character, Mersault, describes a typical Sunday as "Going to the donut shop, then the beach, then coming home to my room and to bed". Explain the significance of the donut shop, in light of Camus' existentialist philosophy.
2. Describe the three fundamental causes of the Donut War. Then, describe the roles of Generals Timothy Horton and Duncan D'onette in resolving those issues and bringing about a peaceful resolution to the conflict. Finally, describe the terms of the Horton Compromise.
3. In Portland Oregon, Voodoo Donut has taken on an increasingly important role in local politics. While urban voters have shown that they are comfortable with this development, suburban voters are more ambivalent. Describe, in terms of their political leanings, why these suburban voters are not ready to commit fully to the Voodoo Donut platform (hint: maple bar with bacon vs. erotic donut).
Good Luck!

Legendary Donut

For years, I have pursued rumors and legends from around the world that speak of mystical donuts that grant marvelous powers. In the ancient libraries of Europe, and in the deep memories of jungle shamen, these threads wind throughout stories and lore. At first, I was tempted to ignore these tales, so often told, but the presence of the same themes in stories from around the world was unavoidable. I have now tracked the stories to a remote village in central Thailand, where it is said that they make a donut from mysterious local herbs and rice flour which grants unsurpassed strength and virility to anyone who consumes it. My proposal to you, my longtime supporters, is that I make the long and arduous journey to find this village and sample its powerful donuts. My organization, the Hatfield Student Organization of Donut Explorers, will be taking donations soon to finance the trip. We will have an informational meeting Wednesday at 10:00 to detail the mission and hand out samples of local donuts. These local donuts, while not granting the level of power of the Thai Mystery Donut, have been shown to increase one's sense of well being. We would dearly appreciate your presence at our informational meeting and your support of our mission. Thank you for your attention.