Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Mutual Donut Network

Have you noticed that there are some people who just never come to donuts? Or maybe they used to go, but they don’t anymore? I was reading my MUFON newsletter the other day, and it turns out that these people are probably ALIEN REPLICANTS! It turns out that the evil lizardmen (and lizardwomen, too; it’s not an invasion of sexists) can’t tolerate the pure, wholesome donut deliciousness. It melts them, or something.
What can you do? First, demonstrate your loyalty to the human race by coming to donuts EVERY WEEK.
Second, if you have a friend, labmate, or boss who doesn’t attend, squash a donut against their face. When they dissolve, you’ll know why they never had time for a break on a Wednesday morning.
Be careful out there. And keep watching the skies.
-MLJ

PS-> The following people chipped in for donuts this week:
Leah Doughty (not a replicant)
Xiaogang Wu (not a replicant)
Xiaochen Yuan (not a replicant)
Liwei Fang (possibly a replicant)
Dr. Ching-Hong Yang (definitely a replicant, since he makes excuses every time we invite him to donuts)
Daniel Ross-Greinke (probably a replicant)

Didn’t chip in:

William Hutchins (definitely a replicant) would have chipped in, but he spent all his money on crop circle patterns for his UFO.

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