Actual Swedish Donut Phrases

So, it was only obvious to a very few of you, but the translations in last weeks emails were all fake.
I got several funny replies, from the few Swedish/Danish/Norwegian speakers in the group.

Tom Wainwright:
Sorry I missed today's event, even if Swedish donuts do require a chainsaw.  Do they really make Tuborg-flavored donuts in the old country?

Janet Lamberson:
Hej - I know a few words of Svenska!  That's not what you said!!
I'd like to see you enjoy a sill-donut (herring-donut) while riding on your häst (horse)

But my favorite (and the most unexpected) came from Sara Heimlich:
Gud hjälpe den som försöker att använda dessa fraser för att köpa munkar i Sverige.
(God help the person who tries to use these phrases to buy donuts in Sweden.)

Since I’ve never been shy about recycling a joke, here are the real translations:

Could you take the car and go buy some donuts?
Kan du ta pansarvagnen och gå ut och köpa en häst?
Should be: Kan du ta bilen och gå ut och köpa munkar? Says: Can you take the army tank and go buy a horse?

Yes, I can do that for you.
Ja, men först måste jag köpa motorsåg.
Should be: Ja, det kan jag göra. Says: Yeah, but first I have to buy a chainsaw.

What do you think of the donuts I made (bought)?
Vad tycker du om köttbullarna jag har gjort (köpt)?
Should be: Vad tycker du om munkarna jag har gjort (köpt)? Says: What do you think of the meatballs I made (bought)?

Thank you, they’re wonderful (terrible)!
Tack, dom smakar some stekt jord (råtgift)!
Should be: Tack, dom är underbara (fasansfulla)! Says: Thanks, they taste like fried dirt (rat poison)!

What kind of donut do you want?
Vilken sorts öl vill du ha? 
Should be: Vilken sorts munk vill du ha? Says: What kind of beer do you want? 

I’ll take one of those with chocolate sprinkles.
Jag tar helst en Tuborg.
Should be: Jag tar en sån med choklad på. Says: I’d prefer a Tuborg (Danish beer).

Would you like another donut?
Vill herr’n ha lite mera sill och potatis?
Should be: Vill du ha en munk till? Says: Would sir like a little more herring and potatoes?

No thanks, but I will take some more coffee.
Nej fan, vi tar os en snaps i stället!
Should be: Nej tack, men jag tar gärna lite kaffe till. Says: No. Hell, let’s just take a shot of aquavit instead! 

-MLJ