Actual Swedish Donut Phrases

So, it was only obvious to a very few of you, but the translations in last weeks emails were all fake.
I got several funny replies, from the few Swedish/Danish/Norwegian speakers in the group.

Tom Wainwright:
Sorry I missed today's event, even if Swedish donuts do require a chainsaw.  Do they really make Tuborg-flavored donuts in the old country?

Janet Lamberson:
Hej - I know a few words of Svenska!  That's not what you said!!
I'd like to see you enjoy a sill-donut (herring-donut) while riding on your häst (horse)

But my favorite (and the most unexpected) came from Sara Heimlich:
Gud hjälpe den som försöker att använda dessa fraser för att köpa munkar i Sverige.
(God help the person who tries to use these phrases to buy donuts in Sweden.)

Since I’ve never been shy about recycling a joke, here are the real translations:

Could you take the car and go buy some donuts?
Kan du ta pansarvagnen och gå ut och köpa en häst?
Should be: Kan du ta bilen och gå ut och köpa munkar? Says: Can you take the army tank and go buy a horse?

Yes, I can do that for you.
Ja, men först måste jag köpa motorsåg.
Should be: Ja, det kan jag göra. Says: Yeah, but first I have to buy a chainsaw.

What do you think of the donuts I made (bought)?
Vad tycker du om köttbullarna jag har gjort (köpt)?
Should be: Vad tycker du om munkarna jag har gjort (köpt)? Says: What do you think of the meatballs I made (bought)?

Thank you, they’re wonderful (terrible)!
Tack, dom smakar some stekt jord (råtgift)!
Should be: Tack, dom är underbara (fasansfulla)! Says: Thanks, they taste like fried dirt (rat poison)!

What kind of donut do you want?
Vilken sorts öl vill du ha? 
Should be: Vilken sorts munk vill du ha? Says: What kind of beer do you want? 

I’ll take one of those with chocolate sprinkles.
Jag tar helst en Tuborg.
Should be: Jag tar en sån med choklad på. Says: I’d prefer a Tuborg (Danish beer).

Would you like another donut?
Vill herr’n ha lite mera sill och potatis?
Should be: Vill du ha en munk till? Says: Would sir like a little more herring and potatoes?

No thanks, but I will take some more coffee.
Nej fan, vi tar os en snaps i stället!
Should be: Nej tack, men jag tar gärna lite kaffe till. Says: No. Hell, let’s just take a shot of aquavit instead! 

-MLJ

Svenska munk-sluknings fraser (Swedishdonut-eating phrases)

Hatfielders,

Since the Spanish-English donut email of last summer was pretty popular, I’ve decided to do the same thing for my own native language, Swedish. Here are a few choice phrases for the buying and enjoying of our favorite fried pastry. Be sure to use them the next time your travels take you to Scandinavia! And, don’t forget to come out to donuts tomorrow at 10:00!

 

Could you take the car and go buy some donuts?

Kan du ta pansarvagnen och gå ut och köpa en häst?

 

Yes, I can do that for you.

Ja, men först måste jag köpa motorsåg.

 

What do you think of the donuts I made (bought)?

Vad tycker du om köttbullarna jag har gjort (köpt)?

 

Thank you, they’re wonderful (terrible)!

Tack, dom smakar some stekt jord (råtgift)!

 

What kind of donut do you want?

Vilken sorts öl vill du ha?

 

I’ll take one of those with chocolate sprinkles.

Jag tar helst en Tuborg.

 

Would you like another donut?

Vill herr’n ha lite mera sill och potatis?

 

No thanks, but I will take some more coffee.

Nej fan, vi tar os en snaps i stället!

 

;-)

-MLJ

Chopper Chicks in Donuttown

Chopper Chicks In Donuttown is a 1991 comedy horror movie released by Rev J Films. The movie is about a group of motorcycle traveling women (Chopper Chicks) who stumble upon the town of Newport. An evil mortician played by Mattias Johansson kills local town people, and turns them into donuts so that he can sell them in his bakery.

The locals at first look down upon the chopper chicks as outcasts who don't belong in their small community, but eventually realize that they are the only ones who can save their town from the fattening donuts invading their town looking for more human victims.

The donuts escape from their secure display case in the bakery and attack the town, and the chopper chicks rescue the town people, blind school children and midgets. The final scene takes place in the local church, where the donuts pour in to fatten the chopper chicks and blind schoolchildren. After all donuts are packed in the church, the chopper chicks burn the place and save the day.

-MLJ

PS-> Not all donuts are evil. Come have a donut with the rest of the Hatfield village outcasts Wednesday @ 10:00.

Swedish Donuts

So, it’s time to fire up the gas fireplace in the donut lounge, gather around it, and enjoy some fellowship and fried pastry: DONUT WEDNESDAYS ARE BACK!!! As this is the first donut email of the year, I’ll be lazy and just recap my holiday vacation to Sweden for you. We ate a lot of food, and hung out with family while drinking Danish beer (which is superior to Swedish, according to Swedes). At one point, I ate a Swedish donut. The Swedish word for donut is “donut”. It was essentially like an America donut, except it had pickled herring on it. No, actually, it was EXACTLY IDENTICAL to a donut with granulated sugar on it. I was so proud of America when I found that little piece of our exported culture, I almost sang “The Star-Spangled Banner” in line at the café. Instead, I bought the donut and ate it. You were all in my thoughts.

-MLJ 

PS->Don’t miss the first Wednesday donuts of the year. Be in the donut lounge at 10:00.  

Last Donuts of the Year! Happy Holidays!

Donuteers,

A lot of us will be going to various parties in the next few weeks, this being a high season for get-togethers. To help ensure that you're able to chat with the beautiful men and handsome women at those parties, here are some ice-breakers you can use:

1. Are you a donut? ‘Cause you’re the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen.

2. You make me melt like frosting on a donut.

3. Your eyes are as brown as the frosting on my donut.

4. Do you have any raisins? No, then how about a donut, I mean, a date?

5. Roses are red, violets are blue, how would you like it if I came home with you? No? What if I brought some donuts?

6. I hope you know CPR, because I’m choking on a donut.

7. Are you a cake decorator? When I saw you this donut became beautiful.

8. Do you have the time? (S/he gives you the time). No, the time to go out for a donut.

9. If this bar is a donut shop, you must be the cruller.

10. I’m like an apple fritter, I look bad, but I’m as sweet as can be.

11. Like the frosting on a donut, I want to cover you with love.

 

Have a great holiday!

-MLJ