Semeldonuty and Iterodonuty refer to the donut eating strategy of an organism. A species is considered semeldonutous if it eats a single donut at Wednesday donuts, and iterodonutous if it consumes numerous donuts at Wednesday donuts.
Semeldonuty
The word semeldonuty comes from the Latin semel, once, and donut, fried pastry. It is often known as "big bang" eating, since semeldonutous organisms eat only one donut per week. A classic example of a semeldonutous organism is Ruth Dimaria (Ruthia Dimarius), who works for many days in the lab before eating a single donut on Wednesday.
Iterodonuty
The term iterodonuty comes from the Latin itero, to repeat, and donut, fried pastry. It is often known as "gluttony", since iterodonutous organisms eat too many donuts each week. An example of an iterodonutous organism is Mattias Johansson (Matticus Johanssonii)—though many people may choose only to have one donut, Mattias is biologically incapable of eating fewer than three donuts at a sitting.
-MLJ
PS->Donuts this week by Bob Moch. Thanks, Bob!
Monday, December 21, 2009
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Darkness and Donuts
Sometimes I hurt
Feel lonely and empty
Sadness and pain
Look within myself and find darkness
The darkness of a foggy night
Dark as Colombian coffee
The kind that would go great with a tiger-stripe maple bar
Then I remember that donuts is tomorrow
And my spirits soar...
-MLJ
Marvelous Donut of Life Discovered By Semi-Famous Doctor
SICK MADE WELL, WEAK MADE STRONG
MARVELOUS DONUT OF LIFE DISCOVERED BY FAMOUS DOCTOR-SCIENTIST THAT CURES EVERY KNOWN AILMENT
WONDERFUL CURES ARE EFFECTED THAT SEEM LIKE MIRACLES PERFORMED- THE SECRET OF LONG LIFE OF OLDEN TIMES REVIVED
After years of patient study and delving into the dusty record of the past, as well as following modern experiments in the realms of medical science, Dr. Mattias L. Beignet, makes the startling announcement that he has surely discovered the donut of life; that he is able, with the aid of a mysterious compound, known only to himself, produced as a result of the years he has spent in searching for this precious life-giving boon, to cure any and every disease that is known to the human body. There is no doubt of the doctor’s earnestness in making his claim, and the remarkable cures that he is daily effecting seem to bear him out very strongly. His theory which he advances is one of reason and based on sound experience eating donuts for many years. It costs little to try his remarkable “Donut of Life,” as he calls it, for he sends it to anyone who is a sufferer, in sufficient quantities to convince of its ability to cure for only $1; so there is very little risk to run. Some of the cures cited are very remarkable, and but for reliable witnesses would hardly be credited. The lame have thrown away crutches and walked about after two or three trials of the remedy. The sick, given up by their home doctors, have been restored to their families and friends in perfect health. Rheumatism, neuralgia, stomach, heart, liver, kidney, blood, and skin diseases and bladder troubles disappear as if by magic. Headaches, backaches, nervousness, fevers, consumption, coughs, colds, asthma, catarrh, bronchitis, and all affections of the throat, lungs, or any vital organs are easily overcome in a space of time that is simply marvelous. Partial paralysis, locomotor ataxia, dropsy, gout, scrofula, and piles are quickly and permanently removed. It purifies the entire system, blood and tissues, restores normal nerve power, circulation, and a state of perfect health is produced at once. To the doctor all systems are alike and equally affected by this great “Donut of Life”. Send for the remedy today. Only $1 for the sufferer. State what you want to be cured of, and the sure remedy for it will be sent to you by return mail.
-MLJ
Embarrassing Donut Admission
Donut Friends,
I’ve got an embarrassing admission to make. During a moment of weakness on my fact-finding mission in upstate
It was the result of this sign:
Note the critical phrase “See inside to apply for a job that fits your life”. Luckily, Mara was there to remind me of the decade-and-a-half of post-high-school education I’ve got, so I didn’t put in an application. It was a near miss, though. Luckily, I’m safe back in
Because of our annual tsunami drill, donuts will be delayed until after we all walk to the hillside (~10:30?). So, go for a walk in the rain while pretending to save your life, then come in for a warming cup of joe and a donut.
See you there!
-MLJ
Donut Fact-Finding Mission
Hatfielders,
I'm on a factfinding mission in upstate New York, seeking to understand east coast donuts. I've attached some pictures. I'll miss donuts tomorrow, though. Have fun without me.
Donuts, 10:00 in the staff lounge.
-MLJ
Secret Passwords: Donut
MLJ’s Secret Password List
DO NOT DISTRIBUTE
Gmail
DonutGuy77@gmail.com
DOnUTSrocK!1
Yahoo Mail
DonutEnthusiast@yahoo.com
EatMoreDonuts?
DonutPhotog
IheartDONUTS21
Donut Muncher
DONUTpassword
Donutwriter
DoughnutsORDonuts?77
DonutBanker
3GetMoney,BuyDONUTS3
-MLJ
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
College.Bismarck.DonutGenomics
Hatfielders,
I'm starting to feel the end of my PhD approach, so I've started looking for interesting positions to apply for. One that caught my eye is attached below. It's a tenure-track position, so I'm probably a dark horse candidate, but it seems a good fit. Wish me luck!
-MLJ
PS->Don't forget to come out and have a donut with me tomorrow at 10:00
in the staff lounge.
Mattias Johansson
Marine Fisheries Genetics
Coastal Oregon Marine Experiment Station Hatfield Marine Science Center 2030 SE Marine Science Drive Newport, OR 97365
Phone: 541-867-0421
Fax: 541-867-0345
http://people.oregonstate.edu/~johansma
-----Original Message-----
From: bakedir@bakery.ca [mailto:bakedir@bakery.ca]
Sent: Wednesday, September 09, 2009 11:55 PM
To: Johansson, Mattias - FW
Subject: Job: CollegeBismarck.DonutGenomics
Assistant Professor, Donut Genomics
Assistant Professor. The Department of Biology, College of Bismarck, invites applications for a tenure-track position in Donut Genomics at the Assistant Professor level to begin August, 2010. Candidates must possess a Ph.D. in the bakery sciences or a closely related field, an addiction to fried food, and an active donut comedy writing program.
The particular area of research in donut genomics and the type(s) of frosting are open, but the selected candidate will be expected to assist with the training of graduate students in the Fried Pastry program . Teaching responsibilities may include undergraduate courses in baking and brewing a decent cup of coffee, and graduate course that complements current donut genomics offerings in the baked goods master's program.
The College of Bismarck is a public liberal arts and sciences institution of 12,000 students, with MS degrees in Donut Eating and Coffee Drinking, and a commitment to excellence in fried food.
Information about the Bakery Department is available online .
Applicants should submit a curriculum vitae, their grandmother's secret donut recipe, copies of comedic musings on donuts, and three letters of reference from their local donut shop to:
Chair, Donut Genomics Search Committee
Department of Bakery
College of Bismarck
Bismarck, SE 36688
or (preferred) electronically to donuts@cofb.edu
Screening of applications will begin September 15 2009. The College of Bismarck is an Equal Opportunity/Affirmative Action Employer and encourages applications from women and minorities.
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