I found a donut lying in the road the other day. Since no one was around, and since it looked unmarked, I picked it up (thinking I might eat it). As I held it in my hand, it spoke to me.
“I am a magic donut”, it said. “If you eat me, you will receive wealth and fame and power.”
I thought to myself, “that sounds pretty good, I’d eat a donut I found in the road for those benefits.”
Then it said, “but you may NEVER eat another donut, as long as you live, or the spell will be broken.”
That sounded like a difficult bargain to keep, but wealth and power sounded pretty good, so I ate the donut.
This morning, I found that someone had deposited $1300 in my bank account…
See you at donuts this morning. 10:00 in the donut lounge.
-MLJ
MLJ’s Secret Donut Recipe
Ingredients
Flour
Sugar
Shortening
Cream Filling
Oil
Combine ingredients in a bowl. Form into donut shape. Fry in the oil. Voila, donuts!
Or, since this recipe leads only to disaster, come have a donut with the HMSC community this morning at 10:00 in the donut lounge.
-MLJ
If I had a million donuts…
I’d give them away outside Starbucks, just to annoy the barristas.
If I had a million donuts…
I’d be able to talk my way out of speeding tickets.
If I had a million donuts…
I’d use them to influence world affairs.
If I had a million donuts…
I’d be a lot fatter.
If I had a million donuts…
I’d use them to pave my driveway.
If I had a million donuts…
I’d eat one a week for a million weeks.
I’d have to start drinking coffee on days other than Wednesday and Thursday.
If I had a million donuts…
I’d throw them at people on the street, then run.
If I had a million donuts…
I’d get pretty tired of donuts.
If I had a million donuts…
I’d become a famous funk bass player.
If I had a million donuts…
I’d win the Nobel Prize for donut ownership.
If I had a million donuts…
I’d be rich.
I don’t have a million donuts. I do know that there will be three dozen, along with a bunch of my good friends in the Donut Lounge tomorrow at 10:00. You should come join me.
-MLJ
