Hockey and Donuts

Donut Sports Fans,

As all of you undoubtedly know, hockey and donuts go hand-in-hand. All the donut shop chains currently in existence were started by retired hockey players, for example: Howard Dunkin, Fredrick “Krispy” Kreme, Tim Horton, to name a few. The reason for this connection is the measurable improvement in player performance when donuts are used as an energy source. I experienced this myself last weekend, at my weekly rec-league game in Eugene. The game was closely fought, with plenty of shots countered by strong defense on both sides. But, at the end of regulation, the score stood at Team Snuggie 3 – Eugene Extreme 3, and the game was going to a shootout. First, three shooters from each side would try their luck against the goalie. If no decision was reached, the teams would alternate shooters until one team had a goal advantage. The other team missed their first. My team’s first shooter scored. The opposing second shooter missed, as did our second. Still 1-0. The other team’s third shooter scored. 1-1. Our third did not. Still 1-1. Going on. Both teams alternated shooters, working through their lineups, failing to reach the back of the net. My turn was rapidly approaching. I heard a tap on the glass. I looked back and Mara tossed me a pack of Hostess Donettes. You know the ones: they’ve got a brown plastic “chocolate” coating and are awesome. I immediately wolfed down three. It was my turn. I stuffed another Donette in my mouth and skated to center ice. As I started down the ice with the puck I could feel the chocolate coating the inside of my mouth, calming me. Approaching the goalie, I envisioned a donut box in the back of the net. The puck turned into a stale Bismarck and I knew I would score. I went right, to my backhand. Lifted the puck over the goalie’s leg pad. Right in the box. Baker’s Dozen, right there. Game over. Team Snuggie 3(2) – Eugene Extreme 3(1). Behold the power of donuts.

-MLJ

PS->Donuts this week courtesy of Dacey Mercer. Thanks, Dacey!