For the love of a good woman (or barring that, a good donut). (An Archive Classic)

Have you ever been in love?
You know, the way you can remember every detail, even after they're gone?
The way they feel, the way they smell, the way they make your fingers greasy when you touch them?

That's how I feel about donuts.

Come join the us this morning in the LAP N202 for coffee and love.

-MLJ

PS->Donuts this week courtesy of the original rocker, the rockin’est rock that ever rocked, the one and only Jena “Rock-It”, “Rocket”, “Rockette” Rock. These days, she’s also the rockin’est Phyllis who ever helped a graduate student. Maybe not as rockin’ as the original Phyllis, but still pretty good.

Donut day is here again!

So long sad times 
Go along bad times 
We are rid of you at last 
Howdy gay times 
Cloudy gray times 
You are now a thing of the past 
Donut day is here again 
The skies above are clear again 
So let's sing a song of cheer again 
Donut day is here again 
Altogether shout it now 
There's no one 
Who can doubt it now 
So let's tell the world about it now 
Donut Day is here again 
Your cares and troubles are gone 
There'll be no more from now on 
From now on... 
Donut day is here again 
The skies above are clear again 
So, Let's sing a song of cheer again 
Happy times 
Happy nights 
Donut day 
Is here again!

LAP S185, 10am.

PS->Donuts this week courtesy of Dr. Madhusudan Dey. Your friend and mine, Dr. Dey uses Saccharomyces cerevisiae (yeast) as a model organism. The thought occurs that with all that yeast and glassware, maybe we can sweet talk Dr. Dey into starting a little home brewery on the side. It would certainly make colloquium a bit more colorful…

The Monty Donut Problem

Imagine, you’ve finally gotten on your favorite game show, Wheel of Donuts, and you find yourself playing the classic Three-Door Game. Behind one door: a dozen donuts. Behind the other two: bagels (plus a guy who’s going to punch you in the face, in case you like bagels). You pick a door. Monty Donut opens another door and shows you a bagel, plus Rocko practicing making a fist. You’re offered the option: stay with your door, or change to the remaining door? What do you do?

The beauty part is that LAP S185 only has two doors, and both lead to donuts. Everyone’s a winner at 10:00am.

-MLJ

PS->Donuts this week courtesy of the Donut Organizing Committee and our numerous donors over the past couple of years. Man, we’re so great.

Wisconsin Donut Organization Member Profile

Mattias has been a donut shop owner and WDO member since 2012. The donut shop he owns came to him through a neighbor's generosity, and fulfilled a lifelong dream. "I've loved donuts since I was a kid," says Mattias, "but the poverty that came with college and graduate school kept donut shops comfortably out of reach. I could afford the occasional copy of Donut magazine (ideally with a new cruller on the cover), but that was it. Then I befriended (then-girlfriend, now-wife) Sarah's neighbors, Roger and Mary. Roger had a Dunkin franchise and 80-year-old knees, and had realized that the latter were starting to keep him from enjoying the former. So, he was selling the franchise. The asking price: $3500. Still about $3500 more than I could afford, sadly. But, Roger wasn't very patient. After a few months of trying to sell, the franchise was still in the garage, and Roger was formulating a different plan. I had moved to Milwaukee by that time, but Roger approached Sarah about giving us the franchise. Several discussions weighing the dangers of trans fats versus the awesomeness of donuts later, and the shop was ours. Ultimately, it would take another six months to get it (and Sarah) to Milwaukee, but both have been here for a little over a year now, and my life is complete. It turns out, owning your own donut shop is just as great as I suspected it was," says Mattias. "Now I just have to convince Sarah that they're even better in sets."

-MLJ

PS->An amazing thing happened to me last Friday. Someone kind and generous approached me to VOLUNTEER to buy donuts. That awesome someone? Dr. Jane Witten. It’s clear that her giving heart knows no bounds. She’s also a great scientist, and did a postdoc in Washington state, which makes her even cooler. Thanks, Dr. Witten!

Donut Blues

In the style of my favorite bluesman, Calhoun Tubbs

Oh, it’s been snowin’ every day for 25 years

At least it feels like it here in Milwaukee

Ahhhhahaha

Been tryin’ to network and eat pastry

But my colleagues think they’re too fat

Ahhhhahaha

Come spring I’ll run for the border

Bike’ll prob’ly run right out of gas

Ahhhhahaha

In the cold ain’t nothin’ better than coffee

But we’re out of half and half

Ahhhhahaha

Thank you very much!

Free your mind. Donuts. LAP S185, Wednesdays at 10am.

-MLJ

PS->Donuts this week courtesy of the Johansson Family Foundation (my parents sent me some money for Valentine’s Day and there was some left over after Jack Pandl’s). The Johansson Family Foundation: Supporting professional networking and pastries through challenge grants, loans, and individual awards since 2014. Learn more at http://donutemails.blogspot.com.

Donut health and wellness

Recent research published in the Stockholm Noble Prize Journal has shown that people who excessively limit their intake of calorie-optimized foods, such as donuts, are more likely to be depressed, boring, ugly, and professionally and romantically frustrated. It turns out that an intake of a donut to a donut and a half (depending on height and hair color) per week is optimal for most individuals. To ensure that everyone in Biological Sciences is optimally healthy, we’ve carefully calibrated our Wednesday donut supply. Don’t forget to take your weekly dose tomorrow. Lapham S185, 10am.

-MLJ

PS->This week’s donuts courtesy of Dr. Erica Young. Dr. Young is a skilled scientist and teacher, unfailing in her willingness to help students to learn and succeed in their educational goals. Dr. Young is also an excellent colleague, always approachable and welcoming of student and professional researchers looking for guidance and advice. Dr. Young is unquestionably an asset to the Department of Biological Sciences and UWM.

PPS->That was pretty nice, huh? 

Donuts are Beautiful, by Willodean Hargarten

Oh Beautiful

Oh glazen donut

With many colored sprinkles

Or covered with some powdered sugar

And filled with fruity gellllllll

They're Bea-uuuuuutiful

They're Bea-uuuuuutiful

Bun sheds her grace on donutsssssssss

And serve them alllllllllllll

With tasty coffee

For every lab tooooooo eeeeeeeeat

Donuts: LAP S185, 10am.

-HLH

PS Donuts this week are courtesy of Tony Paladino. Tony is so awesome, he can sing that song in 13 different languages, without making the sugar-free-tofu fake donuts feel marginalized. Do you know why else he is awesome? Because he is giving you all donuts today. Thanks Tony!!