If I had a million donuts...

If I had a million donuts…
I’d give them away outside Starbucks, just to annoy the barristas.

If I had a million donuts…
I’d be able to talk my way out of speeding tickets.

If I had a million donuts…
I’d use them to influence world affairs.

If I had a million donuts…
I’d be a lot fatter.

If I had a million donuts…
I’d use them to pave my driveway.

If I had a million donuts…
I’d eat one a week for a million weeks.

If I had a million donuts…
I’d have to start drinking coffee on days other than Wednesday and Thursday.

If I had a million donuts…
I’d throw them at people on the street, then run.

If I had a million donuts…
I’d get pretty tired of donuts.

If I had a million donuts…
I’d become a famous funk bass player.

If I had a million donuts…
I’d win the Nobel Prize for donut ownership.

If I had a million donuts…
I’d be rich.

I don’t have a million donuts. I do know that there will be three dozen, along with a bunch of my good friends in the Donut Lounge tomorrow at 10:00. You should come join me.

-MLJ