Donut endings and Donut beginnings

It’s grey and cold this morning and my mind turns to the coming winter, and the winding down of my time here at UWM. As a confirmed creature of habit, it makes me wonder what the future holds. Are things going to be better in a new place? What happens to the donut empire I’ve built here? Will someone carry on the tradition, or will this tiny light, trying to draw the department closer, go out? Either way, I’d love to see donuts go out with a flourish. If you haven’t been in a while, come out for one last cruller before I move on.

Wednesday Donuts, 10am, LAP S185

-MLJ

PS->Donuts this week courtesy of my donut heir, Heidi “MLJ v.2” Hargarten.

Donuts and Fountain Pens

I found a really cool fountain pen in my mailbox this week, along with a note from my friend Ben Franklin. To say it made my day would be a major understatement. There’s nothing quite as much fun (in the writing world) as writing with a fountain pen. So I resolved to write this week’s donut email with the pen. What a pleasure. Then, halfway through I realized that I didn’t know how to get a handwritten donut email out to everyone. So, I rewrote the email with the keyboard. I’m not sure how I’ll get the scratches out of the monitor either, but that’s an email for another day.

Wednesday Donuts, 10 am, LAP S185.

-MLJ

PS->This is the last week of Ben’s generous donation. If you’ve got $20 burning a hole in your pocket, let Heidi or I know.

Donuts in the best of all possible worlds

We live in a golden age. Crime is way down. Rates of worldwide poverty and hunger have never been lower. You can carry your music collection in your pocket, even if it’s too big to fit on a single cassette. PhDs in Biology are abundant across the land. Sounds like it might be time to celebrate! Wednesday Donuts, LAP S185, 10am.

-MLJ

PS->Donuts this week courtesy of our dear friend, “Benjamin Franklin”. Did you know: Franklin coined one of my favorite phrases, “In the dark all cats are grey”, modernized to “All cats are grey in the dark.” Awesome. Founding father, kite enthusiast, lover of old cats. What a good guy.

Donut Job?

Beloved colleagues,

I’ve just revised my job application cover letter for an assistant professor job I’m applying for at the University of the Northwest. Can you take a look at it and offer suggestions?

Dear Search Committee,

I’m writing to apply for your recently advertised position in Molecular Genetics. Please, please, please give me a job. I’m desperate. My wife said she’d leave me if I don’t get a real job soon. How about this: if you hire me, I’ll start a Wednesday Donuts in your department? Mmm, donuts.

Yours Sincerely and Professionally,

Mattias Johansson

Wednesday Donuts, LAP S185, 10am

-MLJ

PS->Donuts this week courtesy of our mysterious friend, Ben Franklin. As great as he/she is, I’m thinking Ben Franklin should be president. Of Earth. I’m starting the campaign now, so if you want to volunteer, let me know. As Obama showed us, it’s all about your ground game.

Wild donut conjecture

Thankfully, we still don’t know the identity of our mysterious donut benefactor, “Benjamin Franklin”. So now it’s time for some wild conjecture about their identity, based on no evidence (a la CNN). First, we know that the note was written in pen. So, they’re obviously intelligent enough to write with a pen. Unfortunately, while this eliminates all departments outside of Biology, it doesn’t tell us more than we already suspected. The next clue is that the pen they used was blue. This suggests that they are quite physically attractive (beautiful, or possibly handsome), in addition to their intelligence. Again, this pretty much encompasses all of Biology, plus Jordan and our beloved janitorial team. So, no closer to the truth. I guess it remains a mystery.

Great!

Wednesday Donuts, LAP S185, 10am.

-MLJ

PS->Donuts courtesy of Biology’s Best Friend Forever (BBFF), “Ben Franklin” (BF)!

A Donut Mystery

A week or so ago, something interesting happened. I got mail in my mailbox. While that in itself was pretty great (and rare), the mail itself was even better. In an envelope labelled Wednesday Donuts, I found an anonymous note. The note said:

“Ben was pushing Patrick Henry to use the phrase “give me Liberty or give me donuts” but it didn’t pass the marketing test. He’d be proud to sponsor the Wednesday Liberty Donuts”

Clipped to the note was a month’s worth of sponsorship, in the form of a crisp $100 bill.

To say that it made my day would be a major understatement. There’s nothing I like better than an anonymous (and mysterious) gift. I’m still smiling at the charm of it all. I hope the mystery is never solved.

So, thanks, Ben Franklin. You’ve really made me smile.

Wednesday Donuts, 10am, LAP S185.

-MLJ

Liz Kierepka's Last Donuts!

Liz K. is about to shake the dust of Milwaukee off her feet and start living the Hollywood lifestyle of the PostDoc. We’ll miss her conversation, her love of fine food and fine mini bottles of wine, and her techniques for distracting dancin’ pirates. She won’t miss us at all, because she’ll have all the wealth and power that come with being a PostDoc. Come celebrate her coming up in life tomorrow at Wednesday Donuts, LAP S185, 10:00am.

-MLJ

PS->Donuts courtesy of Dr. Liz Kierepka! A generous last gesture on her way to bigger and better things. ;-)

PPS->To the mysterious “Ben Franklin”: Thanks! Your generosity really made our day (and the next 5 weeks). More later.