Networking Skills Training: Donuts

The skill of networking is one of the keys to career success in Biology. That’s why we offer a weekly Networking Skills Training at Donuts. Take the opportunity to talk to someone outside of your lab, or talk to a faculty member you don’t work directly under. You’ll often find that, like snakes and bears, they’re just as scared of you as you are of them.

Networking Skills 101: LAP S185, 10am Wednesdays.

-MLJ

PS->Donuts this week courtesy of our good friend Albert O’Lab. Al’s not very bright, and he’s not much to look at, but he was the first member of his family to get out of bed this morning. He’s also the first to get a JD, MD, D.Phil, D.Div, MBA, and MFA. Now he’s batting the cycle with a PhD in Biology. And he’s spending his hard-earned money on Donuts. Awesome.

NSF Donut Proposal: Submitted?

So, I just submitted a pre-proposal to NSF that I’ve been working on (with varying levels of panic) for a while. The trouble is, submitting proposals is incredibly anti-climactic. There aren’t fireworks, or balloons that drop, or anything. Not even an email of congratulations and good luck. So, I’m declaring tomorrow’s Donuts to be the official Proposal Submission Celebration Donuts. If you’ve ever submitted a proposal, anywhere, it’s time your hard work was acknowledged, if only for an hour on a Wednesday. If you’ve never submitted, come out and hear some great stories of how NSF (or NIH) just wasn’t able to see the genius in someone’s grand idea, unless they did see the genius, in which case you’ll hear about that.

LAP S185, 10am.

-MLJ

PS->Donuts this week courtesy of Dr. Rafael “Rafa” Rodriguez. Rafa has submitted a number of proposals in his career. But what the NSF doesn’t know (or very many other people for that matter), is that Rafa also fronts a calypso band in his spare time. His band, “Rafa and the Singing Bugs  (Rafa y los Insectos Cantandos)” recently fronted for Metallica on tour in Costa Rica, in fact. And now, with the proceeds of his recent tour (plus a couple of bucks he found in the desk), he’s supporting Wednesday Donuts. What a stand-up guy. Thanks, Rafa!

New year, new donuts

There were a lot of new faces at the gym yesterday. I can only assume that they were there as a result of some kind of misguided “resolution” that means they’ll clutter up the machines for a week or so before they give up the dream of ever looking like they've been Photoshopped.

My hope is that there are at least a few right-thinking people out there who've instead resolved to enjoy life more, stress about their bodies a bit less, and come out for a donut at every opportunity.

Which side of the line do you fall on?

Donuts is back on for 2014! Starting tomorrow, LAP S185 10am.

-MLJ

PS->Donuts this week courtesy of Vyara Matson. Originally a backup dancer for Doug E. Steebs’s rap group, the Funky Fresh Five, Vyara has ascended to a position of unquestioned authority as Benevolent Overlord of the GOBS organization, as well as the writer of incomprehensible (but no doubt, genius) papers on immunology. Now, she’s topped her previous achievements by chipping in for donuts. Awesome. Thanks, Vyara!

Symbolism and Donuts

As many of you know, Wednesday Donuts is a deeply meaningful event, full of significance and symbolism. For those of you too busy scarfing donuts to notice, here are some examples:

Round donuts symbolize eternity. With no end and no beginning, they remind us of deep time, and dinosaurs. Because dinosaurs lived a long time ago.

The coffee symbolizes the depth and darkness we seek to probe with our science. If you add cream, it gets even murkier (like a hedgehog seminar), but it also gets easier to drink.

Rectangular donuts symbolize rectangles. Because rectangles are a delicious shape.

Come learn about the symbolism for yourself Wednesday at 10am.

LAST DONUTS OF 2013!!!

PS-> Donuts this week courtesy of Dr. Reinhold Hutz. Not only is Dr. Hutz a decent and generous guy, and a brilliant scientist, but he’s also a (potentially) shady foreigner (like myself). The ways you can tell? He’s unusually handsome, obviously intelligent, and very smooth talking. All foreigners are like that. He’s also an American. How can you tell? He’s buying donuts.

Thanks, Dr. Hutz!

Donut Thesis Proposal

As a few of you may know, Heidi “H-Bomb” “Willodean” “Donut Girl” Hargarten successfully presented her Thesis Proposal to her committee this week, and was Advanced to Candidacy (as we used to call it at my kindergarten). Since it went so well, she’s agreed to talk about it one more time.

Her title:

Biosociological drivers of the gastroeconomics of pastries: Who pays, who stays?

Abstract: Although Wednesday Donuts is a no-cost opportunity to eat pastry and socialize with colleagues, predicting who will attend is a highly non-linear process. Significant drivers include age, academic rank, self-importance, and temporal proximity to graduate school. Similarly, financial support for donuts seems to be stochastic, with some regular attendees claiming poverty when asked to buy for the week, and other non-attendees willing to regularly support the cause financially. This may have significant impacts on the Department of Biological Sciences and the national economy.

Wednesday, 10am. Lap S185.

Refreshments provided by Masters Candidate Hargarten. Thanks, Heidi!

-MLJ

Origin of Donuts

When I was a young lad, I was always often sometimes bored in school. Luckily, my school was located between two bakeries and across the street from another bakery, so I would sneak out to watch the bakers at their work. One day, while watching, I mistakenly ate an experimental radioactive apple fritter that I found in the bakery lab. When I awoke the next day, I realized that I had acquired a super power! I now had the ability to write a moderately funny email about donuts once a week! Years later, I found a use for my superpower.

Donuts. Wednesday 10am. Lapham S185.

-MLJ

PS->;Donuts this week courtesy of the biology office’s very own Jena Rock. People tell me I write a funny email now and again, but it turns out that Jena’s also got some talent in that direction, too. Almost weekly, I get an email from her telling me to come pick up a package “at my earliest convenience”. That always makes me laugh. It’s way more convenient to make Heidi do it.

Thanks, Jena!

Donuts: Special Place Special Time 11am, LAP N202

So, I was in Portland over the weekend. The cool one. In Oregon. I went there to check out a new donut place: Blue Star Donuts. You probably haven’t heard of it. It’s pretty new. I had a cinnamon sugar donut and a decaf and got rained on. It was great. Now I’m back and it’s time for donuts again.

This week’s donuts is in LAP N202 at 11:00-12:00, due to another room commitment.

-MLJ

PS-> Doug E. Steebs stole our donut room, but he makes up for it by buying donuts this week. Thanks, Dr. Steeber!