Donut Dissertation Defense

Ph.D Dissertation Defense
Mattias L. Johansson, Department of Donuts and Hilarity, Oregon Donut University
Advisor: Dr. Michael Banks
"Landscape and individual patterns of donut choice at marine science facilities in the United States"

Wednesday, June 9th, at 10:00AM
Library Seminar Room, Hatfield Marine Science Center

There will be a selection of donuts in the Staff Lounge (for those poor souls unable to attend my defense), but there will be Better Donuts outside the Library Seminar Room, at 9:30. ;-)
-MLJ

PS->Donuts this week courtesy of yours truly. MLJ=Best.

Donut Verification Upgrade

Your stomach is almost empty.
2000 Calories 700 Calories
Minimum size
Your Donut Quota Has Failed To Meet The Set Quota/Limit Which Is 2000 Calories.
You Are Currently Running On 700 Calories Due To Missing Last Weeks Donuts.
Please Click the Link Below To Validate Your Attendance And Increase Your Quota.

http://www.emailmedonut.com/builder/donut/2ImRfObCd0NuTBDl52P

To Fail To Click This Link And Validate Your Donuts May Result In Loss Of Important Calories In Your Stomach/Or Cause Hunger Pangs.
Thanks
HELP DESK

-MLJ

PS->Hopefully someone picked up the wand last week. I wasn’t paying attention. If it was you, thanks!

Transitions, and Stability (donuts)

I’m nearing the end of my PhD, and thinking about my time as a student, and about the future. This is going to be a rare serious donut email. A lot has changed for me recently, and a lot is about to change. At times like this, I can’t help but cling to the things that are stable, and friendly, and safe. Obviously, Wednesday donuts is one of those things. This is a great community, because of the traditions we have together. I know that most of you feel the same way. This is a very special place, and if we leave it, I don’t think we’ll ever experience its like again. Now, come support the best tradition we’ve got by coming to donuts tomorrow.
-MLJ

PS->Donuts this week by Leah Feinberg. Thanks, Leah!

Very Lazy Donut Email?

Courtesy of (and presumably, copyright) my good friend, Jim Davis. Emailed to me by Chris Magel:



I don’t know who’s buying donuts today (hopefully someone is). Nevertheless, thank you, mysterious benefactor!
-MLJ

Donut Fact-Finding Mission 2

I recently sent my friend and trusted donut colleague Bill Peterson on a donut fact finding mission to Japan, the land of the midnight sun (or whatever). Here are some of his findings:


Japan is a nation with a rich history, and a varied and beautiful culture. All of which has been poisoned by too much exposure to American culture. Mmm, donuts. Also, apparently they have square donuts and heart shaped donuts in New York City. Who knew?


What the hell do bananas have to do with donuts? Ah, mysterious Japan. More importantly, four donuts in a box = empty box. Anything less than a dozen is a crime against humanity.


In Japan, they have donuts on sticks. Mmm, donuts. Bill claims that he bought 3 dozen of these for this weeks Donut Wednesday, but they were seized by the TSA. Something about “Delicious, dangerous contraband.”

-MLJ

PS->Donuts this week courtesy of Itchung Cheung. Thanks, Itchung!

A Declaration on Donuts

We hold this truth to be self-evident, that all donuts are created to be delicious, that they are created from certain unalterable Ingredients, that among these are sugar, flour, eggs, and oil. That to secure these donuts, Wednesday donuts was instituted among Hatfielders, deriving their status from their location of work, that whenever the calendar and the clock say Wednesday at 10:00, it is the Right of the People to attend the Staff Lounge, and to attain a free donut and coffee, selecting the donut as to them would seem most likely to improve their happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Hatfielders select two donuts, in order that the maximum happiness may be most likely to be attained by the attending multitude of individuals. Finally, it is the responsibility of every Hatfielder, at regular intervals, to assume the responsibility of procuring donuts for their fellow attendees, so that the traditions, customs, and pleasures of Donut Wednesday may be continued for future generations.
-MLJ

PS->Donuts this week courtesy of Candace Rogers. Thanks, Candace!

Donut Reruns

For once, I’m not inspired to write a donut email. So, I’m rerunning two “classics” from the early days. Donuts this week are courtesy of Janet Webster. Thanks, Janet!

5/14/2008:
Hatfielders,
There comes a time in every person's life where he or she feels unfulfilled, and empty inside. For me, this feeling comes every Wednesday at 10:00. It means I need a donut. Come join me (and the HsO) in filling the emptiness inside with pastry this morning in the staff lounge. There will also be coffee. BYOMug. You can also help fill the emptiness inside our donation jar.
-MLJ

6/4/2008:
Delicious
Orgasmic
Unmatched
Greasy
Healthy
Nutritious
U? I already did a U-word. How about Untamed?
Tempting
Sugary

Come have a donut/doughnut this morning at 10:00.
Staff Lounge
BYO mug
BYO $$$
Thanks!
-MLJ